I think I'm a slow-paced person living in a world that moves faster than I do.
I’m not slow as in inefficient, incapable, late, or unproductive. I work and meet productivity standards. I get things done in my life. I show up to events on time. I meet deadlines. My husband has never once mentioned me being slow. I function fine in the world.
It’s just that my internal tempo is slower.
Sometimes I take more time than others to complete the same task, but I’m not necessarily talking about how long it takes to do something.
I mean how I experience a task.
I don’t want to hurry from one thing to the next. I like to take time to be in the moment, notice things about what I’m doing, and think about it. I give experiences time and space before moving on to the next thing.
In ballet class, I do combinations more slowly than some other people. When we’re not clear about the pace of an exercise, some people will automatically do a movement in one count, whereas I take two. I dance at my body’s natural tempo.
I don’t rush to work in the morning. I leave the house a little earlier to give myself time to have a commute without rushing or stressing. I tell myself that I can take a longer route that I prefer and that I don’t have to drive quickly to make it through the intersection.
When I plan my weekends, I leave one day open. If I have an activity on Saturday, I’ll leave Sunday unplanned. I don’t pack too much into my vacations either. A few set activities are enough, and the rest of the time I fill in when I’m there.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy life. I just want time and space to experience it.
I think my natural pace is me processing life a little slower than most. I like taking time to process and reflect on things, like noticing, “Oh, there’s something here.”
I don’t think I need to change. I don’t need to get faster, and the world surely isn’t going to get slower.
But I’m okay with my pace.
Everyone has a natural pace. I think I’m one of the slower ones.
And I can keep up. I just don’t particularly want to.