“Of course I want CPR! Why wouldn't I want CPR?” my husband asked, almost accusing me of even thinking about considering any alternative.
I was filling out a consent form for our dog prior to her dental procedure. She had a fractured tooth and needed to be put under anesthesia and intubated so they could take dental X-rays and make whatever repairs were necessary.
I asked him what he thought about CPR if the dog needed it. He didn’t hesitate to answer.
Of course, neither of us wants to imagine our dog needing CPR. We love her tremendously. My pause for consideration and desire to have a conversation about it isn’t because I love her any less, but because I think about life after CPR.
It sounds so simple, like there are two choices: yes or no.
But there is an entire reality hiding beyond choosing yes.
It can mean chest compressions, broken ribs, punctured lungs, an extended hospitalization, pain, complications, and a prolonged recovery.
And “saving her” doesn’t necessarily mean she will return to the dog she was before.
There’s also the fact that she’s getting older. I hate that she’s getting older and is now considered a senior dog.
When she was younger, I might have been as quick to say yes as my husband was.
But the reality is that she’s 10 now, and every passing day and every procedure comes with a little more awareness that she is aging and won’t live forever.
The fact that I love her so much makes this decision even harder. It hurts to think about losing her, whether one day far away or sooner because of a procedure.
But loving her also means being willing to think about these things I don’t want to think about and figuring out what really would be best for her.
Would she recover well and continue to have a good quality of life? Or would she be frightened and in pain?
I don’t know the answer, but I have to consider these things before making a decision, especially because she is not able to make these decisions for herself. Being a responsible pet owner means I need to consider all of these things and make the best decision I can for her.
I wasn’t sitting around thinking about losing my dog. I was just filling out paperwork for her to get a dental procedure. And suddenly, I was confronted with a question that belongs to a much later, much sadder day.
Today, it was easy to say yes that I wanted CPR too.
But my dog is getting older. She may need more medical procedures in the future. I have to be willing to think about these decisions and all the relevant factors before making them.
I want what’s best for her, even if it isn’t what I want myself.
Thankfully, the dental procedure went well, and my dog is now home resting by my side.
This will be another topic for another day.